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Health & Fitness

Hirsute Highway Hero Halts Fleeing Famous Fisker

City Councilman Cellularly Corralls Speeders on the 101

Prologue: Our man is a mild mannered city councilman working the day watch as he traverses the valley to the L.A. Council Chambers where they focus on those priority issues such as legislating sugary drinks, banning single use plastic bags, and the resurrection of cannabis clubs. 

Our would be hero is a long time legislator, fresh over the success of his Fireworks Extravaganza in Warner Cener. Our man was just tooling down the road, minding his own business when his eyes, like a lazer beam, are honed upon a chrome encrusted rocket of the likes he's never seen thrusting about the lanes and shoulder of US 101 as if it was the chase scene from Bullitt. 

Our man, never flustered, opens his dress shirt to reveal a giant 'Z' on his chest denoting his fight for truth, justice, and the American Way. Our hero, of course, is the Councilman from the Third District, Dennis Zine, impresario of the Zine Fireworks Extravaganza and long time city councilman representing the west valley.

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Seems the "Ferocious Fisker" is being piloted by one Justin Bieber, Calabasas resident, while being chased by paparazzi. 

Bieber can elude the "paps," but he does not elude the tested eyes of Dennis P. Zine, crime fighter, and former LAPD motors cop. 

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Dennis sees his duty and calls. "911," to make the streets safer for all of us mortals from the San Fernando Valley and beyond, showing that the 'Z' emblazoned on his chest is more than a mere consonant. 

Yes, my friends, Dennis has corralled the "Chromed Crooning Crusader of Calabasas," who is allegedly Justin Bieber.  But, is Dennis rewarded for his courage? No he is maligned and called a publicity hound. 

Dennis is no publicity hound, otherwise he would jettison those Hawaiian shirts and the goatee, untouched by 'Just for Men, Gel."  Dennis, you see is an everyday man fighting for safety on the highways and bi-ways of the Golden State. 

So how do we thank our hirsute hero for catching the 'Bieb?" I suspect our hero needs no accolades, just a pat on the back, and a 'Well Done." 

Such are the mean streets of L.A. where even a celebrity driving a $100,000 chrome Karma-rocket can be brought to a screeching halt. I guess 'Karma," is a bitch, as they say..... The power of the "Z," in your theaters everywhere, running through the spring of 2013.

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