Love others as you love yourselfie!

Ever listen to a recording of your own voice? 
(Gasp!) 

Ever look at a picture of yourself? 
(Horror!) 

Why do we react so viscerally and disproportionately even as others are reassuring us that we sound and look perfectly fine? 

Why do we notice the tiny flaws in our selves, homes, cars, belongings?! 

We notice because we feel safe in the knowledge that no matter what flaws we discover, we will never stop loving ourselves. 

But when it comes to others, we play it safe. Don’t look too close; you may not like what you see. Don’t get too close; you may not like what you find. 

So we love ourselves unconditionally; hence we’re not afraid to notice every defect. 

We love others conditionally; hence we keep it safe and superficial. 

But put in other words, this also means: 

We feel connected to our own selves so deeply, that nothing we discover about our own selves could ever undermine that connection. 

But our feeling of connection to others is built on specific commonalities and virtues we’re attracted to. 

Now what if it were possible to discover a connection to others that was identical to the connection we have with our selves? 

What if it were possible to love others as we love our selves? 

Wouldn’t we then be able to notice every flaw and still maintain the love? And wouldn’t that mean that we could grow immeasurably closer to others, more than ever before?  

Yes of course.  

And not only is this possible, it’s imperative. By Divine design, we are expected to love others as we love our selves. 
How indeed is that possible? How can I have self-love for you?! 

The same Divine source for that commandment is also the source for its application. For in His infinite wisdom, G-d invested a part of Himself in each soul. And since He is utterly indivisible, the souls are as well. Our souls are really one soul, inseparable parts of One.  

And on that “soulular” level, we are sharing a single self. And so yes, I can have self-love for you. 

But if it sounds so doable, why does it feel so hopelessly theoretical? Why doesn’t it sound real? 

The answer is: get to know your own soul more (Wednesday evenings at 8pm  and get to love it – and you will see, it is very real. 

And so the next time you settle on a selfie after 25 tries, remember the Mitzvah:  

“Love others as you love your selfie.” 

Good Shabbos. Shabbat Shalom.