How to Struggle

Adam, Noah, Moses – these people didn’t just believe in G-d – they knew Him.

When G-d descended onto Mt. Sinai (3,326 years ago this Wednesday) and spoke personally and directly to 3,000,000 people, men, women and children, He was actually “preaching to the choir.” He was addressing an assembly of believers, people who believed in G-d’s prophet so deeply that they willingly followed him into a dangerous wilderness (and started keeping Passover, Shabbat and many other Mitzvot.)

Seeing as they were already believers, G-d’s decision to make a personal appearance was not to make them believers but rather to upgrade their status from believers to knowers.

And since G-d created us to struggle and strive, the difference between a believer and a knower is immeasurable:

1.        A believer struggles with his or her belief. “Is there Something to believe in?” Or “He loves me, He loves me not.”

2.       A knower struggles with his or her performance in the relationship. “I know He exists. How am I doing with that information?” Or “He loves me! What am I doing about it?”

G-d always wished we would be knowers, not just believers.

A believer wavers between light and darkness. His world is either brimming with goodness and holiness or it is an anarchic, out-of-control, uncaring jungle.

The knower has no such catastrophic inner turmoil. He knows G-d is there and His world is good. He only questions how well he is doing in G-d’s presence.

A philosopher may scoff at such a life of certainty devoid of exalted doubts about exalted matters.

But life is too short to fritter away doubting and scoffing. Does He exist? Of course He does, we met Him and our ancestors had ongoing correspondence with Him.

We’ve worked with Him, fought with Him, agreed with Him, complained to Him, loved Him unconditionally. But we never doubted His existence any more than we doubted our own!

Today, skepticism is all the rage. How do you know? Who told you? Where’s the proof? Where’s the scientific evidence? Disbelief and cynicism are the new commandments.

And incredibly, we see it spreading everywhere. Is a man really a man? A woman really a woman? Are adults really wiser than children? Is marriage really a good thing? Is privacy really a necessary value? Are values really necessary at all? Is healthy really better than sick? Is democracy really better than socialism? Are aggressors really bad? Is self-defense really noble?

Is anything really better than anything else? Is higher really higher? Maybe lower is higher? Maybe worse is better? Maybe up is really down?

All this confusion started with that one unnecessary and destructive question: is there really a G-d?

Questioning is important, deep and noble. But not when you question life’s foundation. Imagine the agony of a wife whose husband keeps on questioning her love. When is there a chance for the love to grow and mature if you have to spend a lifetime proving it?

G-d exists, loves us, needs us, needs our Mitzvahs. Without a question.

Are we matching Him, hug for hug, favor for favor, miracle for miracle.

Now that’s a good question!

Shabbat Shalom, good Shabbos, and a spirited, deeply meaningful Shavuot holiday.