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Health & Fitness

Are Your Kids Different?

I remember it like yesterday. I was standing on second base, panting from a standup double I’d just belted to third base. (The fielding wasn’t all-star material…) I was especially proud because we weren’t just brothers or friends playing. We had some local non-Jewish kids who’d joined our game and we were proud to show them that Jews and Hasids could play ball.

So I’m standing there on second base, hand on my hips, waiting for someone to drive me in, and the second baseman says, “I’m Lutheran. What are you?” I said I was Jewish and then he gestured to my Tzitzit and asked, “Why do you guys all have spaghetti hanging out of your pants?” I thought that was pretty funny but I kept a straight face and delivered my best 11-year-old explanation of the Mitzvah of Tzitzit. He said something like “Mm-hmm,” and then someone drove me in. Mazal Tov!

I’ve always been thankful for having been raised in Minnesota, a place where Jews were few and far between. It helped me develop a sense of pride, a feeling that I am unique and live a special kind of lifestyle, one with more responsibility and spirituality. Like kids are proud of elite status in any area of life, I was proud of what we symbolized in that un-Jewish environment. We were the few, the proud, the Hasidics.

Instead of discouraging my passion for Yiddishkeit, being different only fueled it. I felt responsible to be a shining example, to show that faith in G-d was cool, that keeping Kosher was neat, and to have answers when people asked them. (I remember lying in the dentist chair and explaining to him, between his fingers, that my new sister Chaya Mushka was named after a very holy woman in New York!)

The memories of being different are some of the fondest memories of my youth, and for that I have to thank my parents and the Rebbe and the Divine Providence that brought them from the East Coast to Twin Cities.

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Calabasas ain’t Minnesota, but it ain’t Jerusalem either. We in Calabasas have a duty to our children given to us from G-d. We need to imbue our kids with a feeling that they are different. If everyone else goes out on Friday night, it’s still unbecoming of us, because we’re Jewish. If everyone goes to Taco Bell after the game, they go without us, because we’re Jewish. If everyone watches the playoffs on the second day of Rosh Hashanah, we don’t because we’re Jewish.

But in our own minds and hearts, beyond what we tell our kids, we need to truly love what we’re doing. As adults we all know that more difficult doesn’t equal worse. Often it equals better.

Ask your kids this question: What’s more expensive – a three carat diamond or a ten carat diamond? When they say ten, ask them: Does that make sense? Isn’t a ten-carat diamond heavier and more of a burden? Shouldn’t the lighter, easier-to-carry diamond be more valuable? Why pay more to carry more? Don’t we pay extra for lightweight?

Obviously, if you’re unschooled in the world of diamonds and all you see is a rock, you choose the lightest one. But if you know anything about precious stones, heavier is always better.

That is the key. And if you mean it, the kids will mean it too.

For 22 years, Joseph and then Osnas and their sons Efraim and Menashe were the only Jews in the largest, most decadent metropolis on earth, Egypt. Yet when Jacob and the rest of the family arrived, they found, to their surprise and wonderment, the Joseph and his family were as Jewish they were, and even more so. Joseph had resisted every opportunity and temptation to sin against his G-d, he married Osnas with a Ketubah in accordance with strict Jewish law, he raised his sons to be G-d-fearing and moral, versed in Torah and proud of their heritage in an environment that considered Hebrews to be subhuman.

In today’s technology/sports/academics/fashion/fitness/college/success driven society, it’s tempting to give the kids a break and make Judaism a distant priority. Let’s do our kids the biggest favor of their lives and acknowledge that we’re doing them no favors by giving them “light Judaism.”

Kids need nothing as much as they need passion and direction in life, and for that, Judaism has no competition.

Teach 'em to be different; they'll be eternally grateful.

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