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Arts & Entertainment

Charly Emery: Survivor, Strategist and Self-Help Book Author

A Calabasas author and personal strategist tackles the business of life and love in her witty and winsome new book.

“In truth it’s never the man we’re after. The product we want is the relationship experience. From a business perspective, the man is simply the market that yields the product.”—Excerpt from Thank Goodness You Dumped His Ass

Love is business. So says Charly Emery, author of Thank Goodness You Dumped His Ass: Use Those Mr. Wrongs to Lead You Straight to Mr. Right.

Funny and forthright, just like her new book, Emery lays it all out there. The Calabasas resident has been using her life lessons to help others come up with strategies for their life and love issues.

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Early trauma and survival

Born and raised in the Boston area, Emery survived rape, divorce, prejudice and an eating disorder. For years, she repressed those traumatic experiences.

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“I gave trauma so much power,” she said, recalling earlier, turbulent times.

She sought help the traditional way, with therapy, but could not relate to some methods and applications.

“After just a few sessions, the therapist immediately wanted to put me on a regimen,” she said. “I thought that was putting limitations on the healing process.”

What helped her more were trips to the bookstore and finding life-changing books: The Pathwork of Self-Transformation by Eva Pierrakos and also The Gift of Fear by Gavin de Becker.

“I also learned how to trust in myself more and use the gift of intuition,” she said. “I’ve become adept at recycling challenges and turning them into tools.”

Helping others strategize

As a personal strategist, Emery uses her experience to help others. “My goal is to identify what’s giving people conflict and how that relates to everything else in their lives,” she said. 

“I try to do that as quickly as possible without wasting time and money,” she said, noting that clients see her about one to three times, on average.

Highly intuitive, Emery helps individuals grappling not just with relationship issues, but also job stress. “I have clients who live seemingly amazing lives with a lot of anxiety,” she said.

She also helps couples sort out their points of conflict. “I don’t see couples together, as there’s too much emotion involved and it changes the dynamics,” she said. “But I’ve been effective in mediating and pinpointing their core issues.”

Her new book, a quick read, mirrors her work style. It’s also a business handbook; the business of life and love that is, said Emery.

Primarily written for women, from a woman’s perspective, the book is experiential and not clinical, more action and less concept, according to Emery.

“It’s all true stories from my and my clients’ experiences but there are no negative things about men,” said Emery. “Men have come up to me and said that they dated a woman just like the one in Chapter 5.”

More sensible advice

Almost 40 now, Emery said she has been in a serious relationship for the last few years. “He inspired the other half of the book, and I think people will see that after they read it,” she said.

Emery is currently in negotiations for a TV show with a similar format. She is also seriously thinking about a book sequel. The title? You Found Him, Now What?

Expect more wit, wisdom and winning advice.

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