Review: 'Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn, Part I'

It’s back! And it’s begun again, and of course, it’s not over by any means. As I had been led to expect, 10 seconds or so into the film, we see Taylor Lautner rip off his shirt and morph into a wolf and run off into the woods. Wow!

As an un-“Twi-hard” fan of the novels and films, Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn, Part I just broke down for me. So I’ll take the opportunity to also get out “It sucks!” No more puns, promise. I’ll just get to the nitty-gritty.   

Nothing I say will dissuade the fanatics, but for the rest of you, be very afraid of stepping into the darkened theatre to view this latest installment of tween romance and angst set amongst the un-dead and other assorted creatures of the night. Unlike the estimable Harry Potter franchise, comprised of eight films, the Twilight series depends on some basic understanding of what transpires before each new installment.  

Twilight is a series of four fabulously successful vampire-themed romance novels by American writer Stepenie Meyer. They tell the tale of Isabella (Bella) Swan, a teenage girl who moves to Forks, Washington, and falls in love with a 104-year-old vampire named Edward Cullen. So far, perfectly believable, no? Happens everyday all over the USA.

The film opens with the elaborate wedding of our couple set amidst the magnificence of rural Washington state. This is the essence of the saga and to reveal all would require more space than provided here.  

I came to this film with an open mind and heart, if not jugular veins. The largely teen and pre-teen female audience in attendance seemed poised for what they came for and no doubt received in spades; a healthy helping of gushing romantic passion and handsome men with perfect teeth, bods, hair and skin (although a deathly pallor is to be expected for Robert Pattinson, given his advanced age and “profession”). 

The question here is not whether this is a good or bad film. Normally, that is foremost in any review of a movie. What is at issue here is the appeal of Breaking Dawn for the uninitiated, present company included. Taken alone, the film seeps, creeps and weeps its way along with pedestrian dialogue and plot elements, saved only by some magnificent scenery in the Pacific Northwest and in Rio de Janeiro where Bella and Edward spend their honeymoon. Here, Bella misses her period and before you can say Rosemary’s Baby, goes through the agony of producing–exactly what, you’ll see for yourselves. 

I take it on good authority that the novels have been compared favorably to both Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings as well-written literature. Be that as it may, I can only judge what I’ve seen. To its credit, the film has style in spades and is gorgeously shot in an almost 3-D perspective. Breaking Dawn, Part II is already in the can, as they say. Unexpectedly, the film has haunted me after seeing it. Stay tuned for November 2012. Will I be back? You know what?  I think I will. 

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Jeff Klayman is an award-winning playwright whose works have been produced in New York, Los Angeles and London. He also wrote the screenplay for the independent film Adios, Ernesto, directed by Mervyn Willis.