Coaching Center Partners With Parents

Does your 10-year-old know how to fiddle with the settings of your smartphone but is unsure about when it’s not all right to text? Does your teen “tutor” you about Facebook but is clueless about how to properly introduce himself to adults?

“We are raising technology-savvy children these days, who are unfortunately, not socially savvy,” said Kathy Zotnowski, a marriage and family therapist (MFT).

Experienced therapists

Zotnowski and Samantha Blank, MFT, were both graduate students at Cal State Northridge when they met and quickly became good friends.

“You could say we were thrown in the trenches of therapy from the beginning,” said Zotnowski.

In their decades-long work with various school districts, the two marriage and family therapists repeatedly encountered children and teens who were socially awkward in everyday situations, such as making friends, managing impulses and showing good manners.

“These are bright youngsters who are savvy with technology and everything else but with no skills to negotiate conflict and solve problems,” said Blank.

Coaching, classes and camp

In 2009, the pair founded Social Coaching Club, which offers customized coaching, classes and even a nanny boot camp.

“It’s a business born out of requests from parents,” said Zotnowski, reflecting on their business’ beginnings.

The duo, both moms in real life, can work with families in the comfort of their homes to thresh out a variety of issues. There is no minimum number of coaching sessions.

“It depends on the situation and what the family wants or needs,” said Blank. “But we start them off with a free 30-minute consultation then we sit down and devise a plan.”

Zotnowski cites an example. “We had this 7-year-old so we met with the child first, then the parents. Then we brought them together,” she said. “It all depends, and there is no one-size-fits all.”

At their office along North Parkway Calabasas, they have enrichment classes such as a kindergarten readiness class and social skill enrichment classes for the pre-school to high school students.

There are also active parenting classes that cover topics from discipline to diffusing power struggles and from communication to courage.

Social Coaching Club also has a one-day nanny boot camp, designed to teach caregivers how to build children’s social skills.

Coaching vs. therapy

“It doesn’t replace therapy,” said Zotnowski. “A family can start with coaching and switch over to therapy or the other way around.”

According to Blank, “therapy is deeper work that goes back to past psychological issues.” Coaching on the other hand is more on skill refinement and a more involved process, she said.

“We’ve discovered that with men especially, they get the process of coaching better because they can relate it to sports,” said Blank.

Both Zotnowski and Blank are often invited to schools, offices and community events to give presentations.

Over the years, they’ve shared their knowledge and experiences on effective communication, emotion management and alternative conflict resolution, which are just some of the core social skills that they also try to impart.

“Word gets out that way about our services,” said Zotnowski. “We both also write a lot of articles and contribute to blogs and parenting sites.”

Helping parents help their kids

From a faster-paced lifestyle to tightly scheduled play dates, Blank acknowledges that society has changed so much. “Parents need more help these days, as they juggle jobs and hectic schedules,” she said.

Blank added, “They are unable to slow down and teach their children how to navigate the world.”

With dual-income households more the norm than the exception these days, families could use some outside perspective and guidance, Zotnowski said. “That’s what we’re here for,” said Zotnowski.